6 Tell-Tale Signs that You’re Dating a Womanizer

So, you’ve met this great guy and you two have been spending some time together. You have fun when you go out. He’s great-looking and interesting too.  You love the way you feel when you’re with him.

Where’s the problem?

You’ve noticed a growing feeling of discomfort. As wonderful as this man seems to be, you’re starting to see some things that bring up questions. You wonder, “Is he open to a relationship or am I wasting my time with a player?”

There’s nothing wrong with casual dating– as long as it’s what both of you are looking for.

When you’re hoping dates with the right guy will turn into a committed relationship, being with someone who is only interested in having a good time will inevitably lead to disappointment and emotional pain for you.

A “womanizer” is generally thought to be a heterosexual guy who wants nothing to do with commitment. His goal is to have fun and with as many women as he’s able to be with. It’s a strong word with negative connotations.

Not all “womanizers” are insensitive jerks who care nothing about the feelings of the women they date or sleep with. Some guys (and women too) simply crave freedom. The important thing is for you to know what YOU are looking for in a potential relationship and to be aware of the messages your date is giving you.

Is he open to the kind of dating or relationship situation you want? If not, then it’s probably best for you both to go your separate ways. You’re unlikely to “reform” him and it’s going to be frustrating and possibly heartbreaking if you try.

Watch for these signs that your guy could be a womanizer…

 1. He’s evasive.

When your date is consistently more interested in your past than in talking about his, this could mean he’s keeping secrets. Perhaps there are valid reasons why he’s avoiding your curiosity about his background (past and present), but it might be because he’s hiding certain aspects of his life that you need to know.

2.  He’s got a roving eye.

Just because your guy looks at other women, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s a womanizer. Acknowledge it if your jealousy is causing you to misinterpret his innocent gaze at other women. But if you see that he’s looking too long and/or inappropriately at other women, this could mean that he’s keeping his options open.

3. He’s quick to make a promise.

When there’s no thought and little consideration of your invitation or request and he gives an instant “yes,” beware. It could be that your date is eager and available or it could be he’s just telling you what you want to hear to keep up a facade.

4. He’s quick to break a promise.

Watch what happens after your date makes a promise. Does he usually keep his word and follow through or is he heavy on the excuses about why he let you down? Again. When your guy breaks even “little” and seemingly unimportant promises, this erodes trust and it can mean that he doesn’t honor what you two have together as much as you do.

5. He’s often MIA.

Are there significant gaps in time when you don’t have clue where he is or what he’s doing? This might mean he’s spending a lot of time with other women. Please remember, if you two are casually dating, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with each of you going about your individual lives without having constant contact. To hover over him or to call and text him repeatedly (without his response) will drive him away from you. It’s smothering. But do recognize it if his pattern is to disappear with no word for stretches of time and then pretend as if nothing odd occurred.

6. He’s busy with a lot of “friends.”

Is his phone constantly buzzing with texts from other women whom he claims are “just friends?”  Pay attention to what happens when he gets calls or texts from his women “friends.” Does he interrupt a conversation with you to answer? Does he leave the room for privacy when responding? Do other women contact him at odd hours– like the middle of the night? Your observations can clue you in about whether or not his “friends” are actually something more.

Especially in the early stages of a relationship, there’s plenty of room for misunderstanding and confusion. Don’t jump to conclusions and accuse your date of being a womanizer just because you think he fits one (or more) of these signs. Instead, use this list as as wake up call. Watch for information about him and from him that will tell you more. Then decide whether it’s wise for you to keep seeing him or to move on.

The Classy Girl’s Guide to Be More Attractive to Men

Want to be more attractive to men without sacrificing your integrity? We bring you 17 ways to be more attractive to men, with your dignity intact.

In a perfect world, guys will like you just the way you are. However, the reality is, you just have to put in a little extra effort *okay, sometimes it takes a LOT more* for you to get noticed. Before you feel overwhelmed, the good news is that attraction goes more than skin deep. You can go easy on that zit on your face, and not worry about having to go under the knife to look like a Victoria’s Secret model.

The thing is, attraction is actually as basic as our natural instincts. More than your looks or your designer shoes, you can make a man more attracted to you by taking advantage of men’s innate biological desires. A lot of it has something to do with what you already have.

Keeping it classy and attracting men

Without further ado, we break down the things that you can do to be more attractive to men.

#1 Smile. Anyone who smiles will always look more attractive and approachable than someone who doesn’t. Smiling women look 10 times more attractive in the eyes of men. In fact, the whiter and straighter the teeth, the more alluring, as this indicates good genes which hit a note in their instincts. So better keep flaunting those pearly whites! [Read: How to attract men in a way they can’t resist!]

#2 Wear your positivity. You don’t only have to smile; positivity and a pleasant attitude should radiate from within, too. If you want to be more attractive to men, show that you’re beautiful on the inside, too. Men associate positive personalities with general pleasantness and cheerfulness in social situations, which is important for serious and long-term relationships.

#3 Rock that scarlet dress. The color red has always excited both sexes. So if you want to make men look at you and think “WOW,” switch your LBD with a daring scarlet number. If you can’t wear red, opt for red lipstick, red nails, or a red bag to draw the guys’ eyes to you.

#4 Just a little skin. You don’t have to bare it all to make men notice you—that would be just plain trashy. Men like to be teased a little, and you can do this by showing just enough skin in the right places. Pair an off-shoulder top with long, skinny jeans that hug your curves, or don a short skirt with a classy top. It’s all about playing up your best bodily assets. [Try: 6 naughty ways to tease your man and leave him hard]

#5 Flip that hair. Long, luscious hair can make men go gaga. It connotes health, fertility, and—of course—femininity, which will always stir up the innate mating instincts of men. Just remember to keep it natural, and avoid disheveled, unkempt hair *unless it’s a sexy bed-head*, which is simply a turn-off.

#6 Play with symmetry. Men, just like women, are drawn to symmetry in the opposite sex’s features. A symmetrical face and body shows that you have good genes, which automatically attracts men. However, if you can’t pull it off, there’s makeup! Make sure to go light, though.

#7 Pitch perfect. A higher-pitched voice is always a turn-on for guys. This is because a high-pitched voice subconsciously tells them that you are smaller, younger, and more delicate. This also evokes a sense of protectiveness over you, which men are innately drawn to, as you sound more delicate. [Check out: Damsel in distress – Why men find them so irresistible]

#8 Love those curves. Of course, men are now—and always will be—drawn to your junk. While there are breast men and butt men, it’s been scientifically proven that men prefer a large waist-to-hip ratio in their mates, so a curvy bottom half paired with a slim waist is always a looker for the guys. Then again, there’s always Spandex.

#9 Have your girlfriends in tow. Widely known as the “Cheerleader Effect.” According to experts, women who are in a group automatically look more attractive than women alone. In other words, you look more attractive when you are with your girlfriends.

#10 Preening princess. You can be supermodel-quality hot, but if you have bad breath or chipped nails, you’d better go back to the cave where you belong. Men still find well-groomed women to be more attractive. You don’t even have to wear tons of makeup or fake nails, eyelashes, and hair. Come as you are, and the guys who pay attention to you are the ones who are definitely genuinely interested. [Read: What men want in a woman to be drawn to her]

#11 Kindness. Keep your drama in check, even when you’re on your period and you just want to bite people’s heads off. Men are more attracted to women who are able to demonstrate small acts of kindness and consideration, such as being on time and being nice to the waiter. To them, you make an ideal mate, which heightens the attraction.

#12 Ask questions. Show interest and you will have guys fawning over you. If you are on a date, instead of talking all about yourself, be attentive and genuinely interested in your date. Lean in closer to him, listen closely, and ask questions. This gives him a boost in ego and makes him feel wanted.

#13 Laugh at his jokes. Another point that will make you more attractive to men is when you laugh at their jokes. This makes them feel better about themselves. Besides, it also shows that you are approachable and confident enough to appreciate a good *in their opinion* sense of humor. [Read: 25 things guys find sexy and attractive about a girl]

#14 Yourself, quirks and all. You can be attractive and interesting, but what will make you stand out is your unique personality. Don’t be afraid to show your quirks. Being yourself is a much better strategy to make guys notice you than faking a personality.

#15 Copycat. This tip is a classic for a reason, so it’s worth mentioning here. Try this: if he leans in, lean in as well. If he runs his hands through his hair, do the same after a while. This subconsciously sends a message that you’re interested in him, which amps up his attraction toward you.

#16 Play up your strengths. Everyone has great qualities. So for you to attract men, you better take out your best assets and make them more prominent. Nice bod? Flaunt it—but remember to be tasteful. Beautiful smile? Laugh often. Smart? Engage in witty exchanges. After all, you always look better when you have your best foot forward. [Check out: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]

#17 Confidence. Of course, you can have the best bod, hair as luscious as those shampoo commercials, the most well-groomed, manicured nails and all that jazz—but if you can’t carry yourself well in a conversation or in the middle of a crowd… there’s just no point. After all has been said and done, the best asset that can make you attractive is being comfortable in your own skin.

The secret to attracting men is already inside you. You have strengths and weaknesses, just like any other woman. You just have to make the most of what you already have, play up to your strengths, and downplay your weaknesses. Being genuinely nice and having a positive attitude is always a turn on and, best of all, confidence is your ally. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing nine-inch heels or you barely have any make up on. What’s important is that you carry yourself well enough to turn heads and light up a room whenever you walk in.

How to Be Flirty While Maintaining Class and Poise

The most masterful—and tasteful—women know how to flirt with style. So here we round up 12 of the most effective ways to be flirty and classy.

Flirting can be fun… and it may land you that cute guy you’ve had a crush on since forever. However, done wrong, it could easily backfire on you, ending with a lot of embarrassment on your part—that is, if the guy is not also embarrassed for you.

The secret to flirting is to not make it seem like flirting. You have to act naturally and subtly if you want the right guy to notice you. And this means you have to be classy, and not trashy, slutty, tacky, or desperate.

How to be flirty with class and poise

If you’re used to damsel-in-distress or drama queen tactics to get a man’s attention, then your moves—and you—need to pack and get back to the Stone Age. Nowadays, men like women with confidence and class.

So read up on these tips to turn your seductive repertoire up a notch and finally take that cute guy home… or at least have him ask for your number. [Read: How to look sexy without trying to look sexy]

#1 Leave a little to the imagination. The “if you have it, flaunt it” mantra many girls use doesn’t apply here. If you want to be noticed by guys without looking tacky or immature, you have to learn the art of dressing subtly sexy.

Show off only one part of your body—your best asset—and leave the rest to the guys’ imagination. In fact, you don’t even need to flaunt what you have all the time. Instead of skimpy, bare-all clothes, stick with classy ensembles with toned-down colors that hug your body in all the right places. [Read: 18 things you do that’ll make guys think you’re an easy lay]

#2 Lightly banter. Every classy woman that can make a guy’s heart melt knows how to converse—and not just talk. There’s a big difference. With talking, you just fire off what usually comes to mind, while conversing allows you to communicate in a deeper, more personal way.

While you don’t have to ask really personal questions, what you can do is to learn how to lightly banter with guys, keeping things light yet memorable, so they know you’re not all beauty, but brains, too! [Check out: How to flirt with a guy without really flirting at all]

#3 Use that half-smile. While that commercial, all-out smile can sell plenty of toothpaste, it will not get you anywhere if you want to flirt. First of all, smiling ear to ear makes you look like a twit, if not needy, lame, and like you’re trying too hard to please everybody. Be confident with your expressions, even if it means you have a resting bitch face. Acknowledge a guy you *secretly* like with a simple half-smile, and do the same with everyone else. This makes you look more confident and mysterious, and can give you a commanding presence.

#4 Create eye contact. It may be a simple thing, but it’s a very effective way to flirt without being too forward or looking too desperate. If you see a guy you like from across the room, don’t stare at him. If you follow the above tips, he is sure to notice you.

If he does look at you, you’ll feel his gaze, and that’s when you create eye contact. You don’t have to be near him to make him feel a connection. Also, if you do get to talk, maintain eye contact at certain times in your conversation—especially when you want to make a point or an impression. [Try: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]

#5 Be a tease. Let’s face it: guys like the chase. So why not create a mystery and keep it going long enough to keep them interested and excited? Instead of giving away all your information at the get-go, hold off certain information to keep guys guessing. If possible, you don’t even have to give your number immediately. If you already did and he calls, don’t answer his calls as soon as your phone rings. Make him work for it, and for you.

#6 Compliment sparingly but genuinely. Men like compliments as much as women. However, nothing can turn off both as effectively as a generic, lame, or even fake compliment. Many girls try to get a guy’s attention by showering him with compliments, but to stay classy, be observant enough to notice something unique about the guy and genuinely compliment him on it. If it’s true, he will definitely notice and appreciate you. Noticing how his eyebrows arch sarcastically when a less-classy woman is trying to flirt can go a long way.

#7 Use their names often. Nothing sounds sweeter to the ears than the sound of your own name. It’s the same with guys. Once you get introduced to each other, make it a point to say his name—often. This sends happy signals to his brain and will definitely make him remember you the most, out of everyone else. [Try: What to say to a guy you like to make him like you]

#8 Bring up the little things. If you have the same circle of friends, or if you frequently bump into each other, use these opportunities to get your classy flirt on. When you first meet, keep a mental note of all the details that he tells you, or keenly *but not too obviously* observe how he is. The next time you see each other again, bring up these little things about him. This is a clear signal that you not only notice him, but that you remembered him, which is already a big plus.

#9 Add a splash of light humor. Everyone likes humor. Guys like it when girls laugh at their jokes—even better when these girls can throw in a punch line or two of their own. Having a good sense of humor, without trying too hard to make people laugh, conveys that you are smart, witty, and confident enough to take things lightly. You can still be classy, but having humor draws a line between being charming and being stuck-up.

#10 Mind your manners. Good posture is always a plus in the game of attraction. More than that, however, is manners. What separates you from the skanky lot is how you carry yourself and how you behave. Be polite and considerate in conversations, know common courtesy words, and use them whenever necessary. Avoid interrupting people when they are talking and, best of all, be nice to the waiter. [Check out: The classy girl’s guide to be more attractive to men]

#11 Avoid drama. There’s a big difference between getting attention and drawing it. You can draw attention by how you act and talk around people, but when you start to create drama, that’s the kind of attention you don’t want.

Many girls think that guys will notice them and feel a need to protect them if they air out their problems. They may even create conflict with others, just so they will shine. However, a classy lady would do no such thing. Remember: you don’t have to blow out someone else’s candle just to make yours shine brighter.

#12 Be confident. If there’s one flattering thing that any woman can wear anytime and for free, it’s confidence. Having confidence in yourself means you don’t have to try so hard to make guys notice you. Furthermore, this confidence will radiate from you, and you will be able to gravitate people toward you without having to put a lot of effort in. Those who are not sure of themselves are often the ones who look desperate for attention, and this is a major turn-off not only for guys, but for other people, as well.

This Is Why He’ll Cheat On You, According To His Zodiac Sign

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

At heart, Cancers yearn for the type of deep connection that’s fundamental to a serious relationship. Loyal by nature, they’re unlikely to stray. But if they start to feel distant from their partner or misunderstood, a Cancer will seek the understanding they crave outside their relationship. When they cheat, it’s going to be with someone they relate to emotionally. That said, they’re unlikely to have ongoing affairs since the pain of betraying their primary partner eventually steers them back home.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

Ceaseless romantics, Pisces are selfless when it comes to love. They are gentle and generous in bed, often more focused on pleasing their partner than themselves. But they’re also quite passionate. So if their significant other seems unappreciative, denying  them the right to exercise their need to please, they might very well seek a new outlet for their tenderness.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

Extremely amorous by nature, Scorpios desire high levels of sensuality. They tend to enter into relationships carefully, with a partner they can really trust to meet their needs. Although generally dedicated once they commit, their thirst for passion sometimes drives them astray. If they can’t get the intimacy they require from their significant other, they’ll seek it elsewhere, probably with someone they’ve already built up a certain amount of trust with, like an ex or a friend they’re already comfortable with.

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

Aries are extremely flirtatious by nature and quick to declare their love. They tend to fall hard, and to shower their lovers with affection, which can provide a false sense of security to whomever they fall for. Always on the hunt for a new adventure, it’s hard to keep an Aries satisfied in a relationship. When they cheat, it might come as a surprise (if they’re ever even caught) because they’re so good at demonstrating their love that their partners assume there’s nothing to worry about (even when there is).

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

Leos are highly independent and extremely energetic. In the bedroom, they’re fun, adventurous, and quite selfless. In other words, they’re good at sex. They’re also good at setting boundaries between sex and love, which makes them easy candidates for maintaining unemotional, purely sexual affairs without feeling too guilty about it.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

Coupled with their taste for diversity, the Sagittarius’ willingness to experiment generally means that they’re experienced lovers who’ve slept with a lot of different women on the road to settling down with a partner. However, once a Sagittarius enters into a serious relationship, they are generally faithful. If they act on temptations, it’s probably because they’re feeling bored and their need for change has finally overwhelmed their desire to remain loyal to their partner.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

Taureans are amazing lovers because they truly appreciate sensuality and leisure. They’re all about lengthy, meaningful lovemaking sessions. But if they start to feel insecure in their relationship, they’re prone to infidelity. They tend to cheat with people who make them feel safe, like friends of the opposite sex, so they can make love slowly to someone else whom they feel close to already.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

Virgos are not all that vocal about their feelings, but they’re good at demonstrating how they feel between the sheets. They’re attentive lovers, perhaps because they themselves yearn to feel desired. Since they ache to feel wanted, they value the stability a serious relationship provides—specifically, the awareness that they’re a critical part of their significant other’s life. Many Virgos are serial monogamists. Though generally faithful, they do not respond well when things get rocky. During prolonged periods of unrest or disagreement, they will start to feel vulnerable, questioning whether or not they’re actually appreciated. That’s when they’re likely to seek reassurance in the form of a dalliance.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

Mindful in everything they do, a Capricorn would rather be single than settle for a lackluster connection. It’s difficult to win a Capricorn’s heart because they have such high standards, but once you’re in, you’re in for life. Honest and caring to a fault, they are perhaps the least likely of all the signs to resort to philandering. The only time they’re likely to give into a seductress is in the aftermath of a betrayal by their partner, when cheating is more about tit-for-tat than outright disloyalty.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

Geminis are a fiery, flirtatious bunch, and they’re enthusiastic about dating. They take their time perusing all the different options because they want a perfect partner who matches them in intellect and energy. Once they commit to someone, Geminis are devoted. But because communication is so important to them—just as important as physical contact, in fact—things can go awry unless the dialogue within the relationship remains robust. Without open, honest communication, a Gemini is likely to seek a new lover.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

Libras are natural born life partners. Because they value harmony, they tend to prioritize their significant other in the name of maintaining peace in the relationship. They thrive in a balanced state. But they do not do well in solitude, so if they’re left alone for too long or feel neglected by their partner, they might feel the need to act out by having a tryst. And since they’re so charming, it won’t be hard for them to attract another mate.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

Aquarians are highly intellectual, so being able to engage in stimulating conversation with their partner is an absolute necessity. Since they’re not at all possessive, they tend to give their significant other more independence within a relationship than another sign would. But they prize integrity above all else, so if you’re dishonest with them or take advantage of your freedom, they won’t hesitate to give you a taste of your own medicine. After all, long-term relationships are about equality in their view. 

7 Surefire Signs the Guy You’re Dating Is a Player

Taylor did say players gonna play, and you just have to shake it off. So here’s how you can see if you’re about to get played by the guy you like! By Charley Reid

Players and cheaters. Most people have probably had the unfortunate privilege of meeting, dating, and trying to avoid them at all costs. Just because you might prepare yourself for the thunderstorm and pack your umbrella, doesn’t mean you won’t get wet.

Players often hide behind the guise of a nice, honest gentleman, who will treat you with nothing but respect. But the minute you let your guard down and let him into your life, you’ll start to get that nagging suspicion that something’s not right. Before you even know it, you’ve been played, dumped and left heartbroken in one fell swoop.

How to spot a player

Spotting a player is just a matter of observing little signs that point to his womanizing ways. Here are 7 of those telltale signs.

#1 Wandering eyes. You don’t have to be dating a guy to tell if he’s probably a player. At the gym recently, I witnessed first-hand a guy turn to check out a girl’s butt who was walking in front of me, to then see him turn back around, face me, and smirk. You know the kind of smirk basically saying “‘sup girl” without actually saying it?

When I see guys with their girlfriends, or married men walking behind their wives at the mall, who literally think they are slick when they turn around to check a girl out, words like disgusting, pathetic and slime come to mind. As women, we all know the whole look-over-the-shoulder-neck-turn-checkout routine, and it’s not slick!

The point is, if you have any type of connection that is more than just friends, and you catch his wandering eyes checking out other girls in front of you, don’t waste any more of your time on him. Chances are, he’ll do more than just stare when you’re not watching. [Read: How to keep your guy’s eyes from wandering]

#2 “Parents love him.” If you’re talking to a guy who says something like “parents love me!” then you should immediately know he’s good at saying all the right things, or so he thinks. A guy that says parents love him is saying he’s in control, that he knows all the right things to say and it’s a walk in the park for him.

It could get you wondering why he has to affirm this, when you can get a chance to witness it firsthand. The mere fact that he has to declare this “talent” to you can signal that he’s better at announcing it than proving it. [Read: Want him to prove it? Here are signs it’s time to meet the parents]

#3 He tunes in and out often. Have you been talking to a guy that will be blowing your phone up constantly one day, and then you suddenly won’t hear from him for over 24 hours? Do not think for a single minute that you should check up on him, sending him texts letting him know you’re worried because you haven’t heard from him.

He’s not hurt, he’s not been captured by zombies, he’s not been taken by aliens, and he’s not stranded somewhere on the side of the road without cell phone service. He’s not responding because you either said something extremely offensive, in which case you should review your previous conversation, or he’s out there with his philandering ways. [Read: 15 sure signs he’s just not that into you]

#4 Strong and fast. It’s one thing to feel you might be falling in love with someone you recently started dating. It’s another to actually say “I love you” to that someone. If you are dating a guy, or have been talking to a guy for a very short amount of time, and he’s already told you he’s in love with you, he wants to marry you, surprises you with some random ass piece of jewelry, or anything else that feels like the setup of a Lifetime movie, then you are dating a player.

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t give it up to the guy telling you stupid things like he’s in love with you and wants to marry you within just days of knowing each other. It’s those smooth words that get the players laid. [Read: 10 reasons saying “I love you” too soon sucks]

#5 He’s cheated before. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Personally, I’ve been cheated on, but I never stayed with the loser to find out if he would and will always be a cheater. If you have recently started dating a guy, and you know his last relationship ended because he cheated, the probability of him cheating again is pretty high.

If you happen to be the “other woman,” you know, the girl he cheated on his last girlfriend with, the probability of him cheating on you is even higher. Seriously, what’s to stop him from cheating on you, when he cheated on his last girlfriend with you? If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, acts like a duck… You know, it’s a duck.

#6 He won’t be your friend on social media. If you are dating a guy who says he’s never friends with any girls he dates on Facebook, or that he doesn’t even know why he has an account because he doesn’t even use Facebook, or any other lame excuse where he’s trying to justify you two not being friends and connected on social media, he’s a player.

If you are dating a guy who actually likes you, I can assure you he will have no problem being friends with you on Facebook. After all, it will make communication easier, right? If you spot him changing his display picture, despite him insisting he doesn’t go on Facebook, then that’s a huge red flag right there.

#7 Maybe all the time. If you’re talking to guy and he always replies with things like “I’ll see,” or “Hmm, maybe” after you’ve asked him if he wants to hang out later, or tomorrow, or even next week, then you are dealing with a player. That’s because he’s probably not sure if he’ll be out on any dates with other women during those times, so he’s keeping you hanging until he gets bored. [Read: Is he into you for all the wrong reasons?]

Getting played sucks, so it’s better off to back off from the players before you end up getting hurt. Use these techniques to spot a player, so you can keep him at a distance.

5 Signs He’s Not In Love With You

Really loving someone is a wonderful and tremendous experience that can be amazing. But there is no worse feeling than being the only one who is doing the loving. It can be a devastating position to be in, but as humans we can be prone to denial. If he’s not in love with you, he’s just not. It’s simple because when someone loves you they want to make sure you know it and can feel it. When they don’t love you, they don’t care. Although some of these signs may seem explicit, when you’re in love it’s hard to see these rather glaringly obvious clues behind the love-tinted glasses. Here are the five signs he’s not in love with you:

1. He avoids conversations about the future.

When you’re talking about plans for winter skiing or going away for the weekend, he is vague and dismissive. He gives you answers such as “We’ll see.” Getting any concrete answers on any future activities or plans is near impossible. And when he does talk about the future, he only ever uses the singular “I” and never the plural “we.” When the mere thought of planning something beyond the present moment is beyond his comprehension, he’s definitely not in love with you. When you are in love you cannot wait to make plans for apple-picking, bike-riding through Central Park, or scoring those Louis CK tickets for November.

2. He refuses to accommodate for your friends and family.

Your sister/brother/best friend is in town and he’s unavailable, busy, and aloof when they’re there and makes every gathering seem like a huge inconvenience. For example, when you finally get him to show up for one dinner, he is not-so-secretly letting you know that you owe him one by texting you the whole time and rushing you through it. If he loved you he would be happy to spend time with the other people who are close to you. And most importantly, if he were planning on sticking around for the long haul he would want to make a good impression on them.

3. He’s critical of nice things you do for him.

I once dated someone who criticized every nice thing I would do for him. If I bought him a gift, he would complain that I had spent too much money. If I planned an outing to see a concert or meet up with his friends at a beer hall, it was too much pressure or would be taking up too much of his time. And when I would prepare extravagant four-course meals for him, he always found something minuscule to put down. The sauce is cold. The bread isn’t toasted. If he can’t appreciate the little things you like to do for him or even the big romantic gestures, he’s definitely not appreciating you. He’s not worth your time, attention or energy, and he’s definitely not in love with you.

4. He’s indifferent toward milestones in your life.

Birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, family weddings, births—if he’s not 100% supportive when things are going well, he’s not going to be there when the going gets tough. If he doesn’t acknowledge your graduation, what happens when a parent/grandparent/sibling gets ill? What happens when you really need him to be there for you? I’ll tell you—he won’t be there. Why? Because he’s not in love you.

5. He neglects you.

You deserve love, attention, comfort, and respect. These are basic needs. You should be receiving these at all times and should never have to remind him of this. If he loves you, he will want to take care of you and make this known to you at all times. It won’t be a guessing game, I promise. If he doesn’t give you the love, attention, comfort, and respect you deserve, he doesn’t love you. But better yet, what are you still doing in this relationship? If a friend were being disrespectful you would not tolerate it either, right?

Listen, don’t feel bad—it’s easy to fall into a relationship that isn’t great. But if he’s not in love with you, then it’s really not worth your time. Don’t let lust or infatuation cloud your judgment for too long. Trust me, you don’t want to wake up five years later regretting a college hookup that went on for WAY too long. 

What I Learned From Having An Affair With My Teacher

“She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.” – Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

Lolita has solidified its place in the great works of 20th century literature. It is marked by its style of poetic wordplay, carefully placed humor, and its controversial plot – a middle aged professor falling in love with a prepubescent girl. (Before you write off ever reading the book, I would like to point out the author did not advocate for the lewd and crass conduct he centered in his main characters’ personhood). Throughout this article I have quotations from Vladimir Nabokov’s novel to assist me in telling the tale of my own Lolita account. 



The year was 2009. I was an enthusiastic, carefree high school senior, unscathed by any broken heart or self-conscious woes I surmised I would go through as a teenager. The countdown to the rest of my life was on, as graduation swiftly approached. I had plans, I had ambition. I was going to dominate the world with my pen and paper and poise a la Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30. That was, if I could just get through sixth period…



I had decided to take piano class. Even though by senior year I had dramatically laid off caking my eyes with eyeliner, I was THE biggest Evanescence fan and was determined to learn how to play all of their songs. The one major problem was the total depletion of concentration I experienced in that class all due to my music teacher.



“It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.”



I’ll call him The Maestro. He was the band director and he was my teacher. The very moment I walked into his class, I was terribly head over heels in love with him. He was your “average” American looking white male. He was in his early 30s. His voice was louder and deeper than the voice actor who provided ADR work as God in The Ten Commandments. He told terribly cheesy jokes. He tripped over the very keyboard cords he’d repeatedly tell us never to touch. He was charming, handsome, intelligent, and he was also married.
Somewhere during the school year, he must have picked up on my maddening crush on him. He started to pay more attention to me. I wasn’t quite sure yet how to rock my curls or get through a lipstick or pick a rubber band color for my braces that WASN’T spunky obvious, so I had myself securely convinced he could not find me attractive. I found out this wasn’t the case post graduation.



We began to talk via social media. The talking turned flirtatious. He called me his Lolita. Before I even knew how to process what was going on, we had both agreed he would be the one to take my virginity. I had never so much as pop kissed a boy before in my life! I was excited. I was ready. I was so elated he liked me back. I had always occupied my mind with lustful musings of older men – the Hugh Jackman, or Joaquin Phoenix, or Kiefer Sutherland – and now I had my very own!


“All at once we were madly, clumsily, shamelessly, agonizingly in love with each other.”



At first it was just sexual. We had learned to care about each other on a mutual platonic level. But somewhere in the stolen kisses, midnight trysts, and endless attention, we began to fall for each other. Only then did he start to back away from me. He realized his wrong-doings as a husband, and just as swiftly as he picked me up, he put me down.

I was confused. I was startled. I was hurt. I understand as a reader, this may all translate as me being used and I would not blame you for thinking so. I did start to feel used. I became angry and resentful. I became bitter. Unsure. Depressed. Suicidal. I would cry for so long. I thought I would be able to eventually move on, but it only got worse.

As the years crept on, the depression grew stronger. I began calling out of work, skipping classes at college, canceling plans with friends, alienating myself from family. I grew desperate for him. I texted him constantly like a madwoman. I lacked the self discipline to stop. At some point through the years my mind – depleted from playing the same track over and over again – became a big cloud of hazy numbness. The depression swallowed all passion and ambition from my life. I learned about the ugly parts of myself, befriended isolation, wished for the way out.




So I made my way out.



It wasn’t until very recently that I made the very conscious decision to find a way out of the mess I made for myself. I started to get back into reading and writing. I bought paintbrushes and canvases and started to paint. I took on hot power yoga. Through my practice of yoga and through the dedication and will to get better, I started to develop my sense of being, and the importance of honoring your soul first and foremost.



The Maestro has inadvertently taught me about strength and self-respect. He taught me things about myself , good and bad, that would have otherwise stayed hibernated. I’m learning how to respect my soul, my spirit, my one and only life I have. I’m going out with friends again. I’m re-gaining the optimism I once had for life. I am a very long way from being that self sufficient career driven power woman I always dreamed of, but I am certainly not where I was before.



The Maestro is still married, as I always thought he’d be. I cannot find it in me any longer to blame him for what I did to myself. He has not taken away my optimism for finding a good man, but he has surely shown me even the most unsuspecting person can practice disloyalty. I am more aware and careful of the people I let into my life, and into my heart.

I am getting to know myself again, I am learning to love myself. Please do not take away from this that learning about self respect and respecting someone else’s marriage is mutually exclusive to having an affair with an older man. There are much more healthy, natural ways to go about coming into your own as a woman, I am merely sharing the odd road I am on to get there.


If you do find yourself in mental instability after any sort of break-up, please keep going. You are worth so much more than what you’re putting yourself through. You are beautiful. You are strong. You’ll make mistakes, but you mustn’t be too hard on yourself. Come to peace with your past but please do not dishonor your self by neglecting the present. 

This Is How People According To Their Zodiac Signs Desire To Be Kissed...

There are different kinds of people, some believe in the heat of the moment while some believe so much their zodiac sign that they want everything to be followed according to their respective traits.

Moreover, they appreciate if people make efforts to make them feel good in a way they want. Therefore, here we have a few characteristics of how the people would like to be kissed according to their zodiac sign.

1. Cancer

Cancer people prefer a romantic kiss to define it as a good one, where they want to feel passionate about the other person, for which they require an amatory surrounding to focus on each other.

2. Capricorn

Capricorns are fond of having a kiss like a perfect ending to a day. Like you have been to date, well-dressed, smelling good. They are basically more keen to make it flawless so that they can show it off in front of their friends.

3. Gemini

Geminis want their kiss to be passionate and it doesn't really matter how you actually kiss but they want both of you to be drowned into the kiss.

4. Aquarius

A kiss for them is less of emotional importance and more of physical desire. Don't be overly romantic with them, just give it out what your body feels like.

5. Sagittarius

The basic thing you all should know about Sagittarians is that they get bored easily, so you have to be playful and try different things if you are with them. Kissing different parts, making sensual gestures, passing a smile in between, being naughty is all that they need.

6. Virgo

Virgos are not easily impressed, you have to make 'efforts' in order to turn them on from your kiss. They give you delicious kisses but they want their partners to initiate and ignite the flame.

7. Leo

If you make Leo happy while kissing, they would be on cloud nine and will also expect you to compliment their way of kissing.

8. Libra

They want you to convey your love to them through the kiss, communicate how much you love them and express that you care about them. So, either you go gently or passionately, just make sure they are able to decode your kiss.

9. Aries

They want the kiss to be adventurous and playful. Aries people prefer kisses to be a mixture of different things rather than just one simple kiss. Involve your tongue, bite them, kiss their neck.

10. Taurus

They like long kisses with great dedication and depth. They like controlling others and would like if you make little noises of appreciation.

11. Pisces

Pisces like the kiss to be in an old-fashioned way and do not crave for something new, where you are lucky just to arrange for a romantic dinner or some music to kiss them. Pisces just like to enjoy their moment.

12. Scorpio

They like to take the lead and will be happy if you allow them to. It's more like fighting a kiss with them, arousing all kinds of emotions in their partners.